Negative power or manipulation
Retell the second part of the 'Negative power' text from the perspective of the mother, and briefly give your own opinion on her behaviour.
The Myth of Psyche
In our online class we m anaged to discuss the first few questions regarding the story of psychology. Many interesting questions have stayed unanswered, so choose one or a few that inspire you, and give comments on them.
One day, Henry came and told us that he and his friend were planning to spend their summer driving from New York all the way to California. At the time, I agreed with the idea. My husband and I approved it, and Henry was so happy and excited.
ReplyDeleteBut later that night, when I started thinking about it, I began to feel afraid. It’s such a long trip; they would be alone. What if something bad happened to them? How would I spend all that time without him? I would miss him so much. He is still too young to leave; he has never stayed that long away from home. All these thoughts began to swirl in my mind, and I couldn’t control them.
Days went by, and the trip was closer. The night before his departure, I felt so ill. I had severe chest pain, couldn’t breathe, and truly believed I was having a heart attack. I told Henry not to leave because I was terrified something bad would happen if he went. I could see in his eyes that he was scared for me, but also sad about missing the trip.
We went to the hospital, and after a few days of observation, the doctors told me nothing was wrong, it had been a “false alarm.” Deep down, I knew my illness wasn’t real, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed him to stay home. In my heart, I told myself there would be so many other things for him to do in life, missing this trip wasn’t truly important. It felt safer for him to stay near me. I love him more than anything, and I want him always by my side.
From my perspective, parents often control their children in manipulative ways. Some are not ready to let their kids become independent human beings; they are not ready to let them grow up. To keep them close and maintain their attention, they sometimes use emotions against them, just like the mother in the story did. She knew that her son cared deeply for her, and she used that love as her negative power. The fear she felt for her son leaving is understandable, but that isn’t an excuse for her to act the way she did. Parents cannot protect their children from all of life’s problems, even though many try to do so. They need to lead by example, advise their children the best they can, let them live their lives, experience ups and downs, and be there to support them.
Best regards,
Maša Raičević (1807/24)
Thank you, Masa!
DeleteBack in the time when my son Henry was seventeen years old, he was planning to drive across the country with his close friend. A day before the departure I made up my mind. I decided I can’t let him go. The two young seventeen years old boys driving alone on dangerous highways across the country sounded more and more like a dangerous take. What if something happens? I could never forgive myself, what am I to do without Henry? And even if everything goes okay, how could I know if he isn’t having great time, what if he gets bored, scared or has unwanted encounters? On top of that, there won’t be any space for my control and what am I going to do without him for so many days? That was the moment I decided, he is not going. All these negative thoughts made my heart race, and I asked myself what if I was on a verge of cardiac arrest? That was when an idea came. These mild symptoms are something that I can use for my own advantage. I was ready to go to the hospital and as a result, Henry would make his own decision to stay next to his poor, sick mother. And my plan worked well.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I see, this is a common behavior in panicked and possessive mothers, especially if they have an only child. She is guilt-tripping her child, she is ruining the mood for everyone and most of all, sabotages her own child in finding his own way and living his own life. She is even sabotaging her own growth, because she can’t accept her son is a grown individual and can’t seem to realize, her life is much more than motherhood, she is losing herself in the process of keeping her son in her claws.
Duška Karadžić (1818/24)